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[levelshift]

[It's the default request to leave a message that comes with every voicemail. Accelerator hasn't bothered to change it.]

{ Audio | Video | Text | Action }

Comments

[levelshift]

Okay, that still doesn't fucking explain why you're texting me with this.

[reneger]

we're doing a little get together for dickie's birthday

you're invited

[levelshift]

Why.

[reneger]

because i like you

[levelshift]

[????????????????????

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?????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????]

Fuck you.

[reneger]

harsh

[levelshift]

What the hell do you expect? Something nice? I'm not a nice person.

[reneger]

i know
that's why i like you

[levelshift]

[GGGGGgggghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh. He nearly types out 'fuck off' again.]

Stop texting that. And stop thinking it.

[reneger]

you're a good kid
i like having you around

[levelshift]

I'm not a 'good kid.' You should know that.

And I'm not going to any birthdays. Those things are for the friends and family of whoever's having the birthday, even I know that, and I've only ever said two fucking sentences to your brother.

[reneger]

he likes you, too

you're one of mine anyway
and a good kid

[levelshift]

I seriously fucking doubt that.

[That... what.]

I'm what?

[reneger]

you don't think i'd trust just anyone to drive my bike while i'm half out of it, do you?

[levelshift]

That doesn't mean anything. It's just a stupid motorcycle, and you weren't thinking straight.

[reneger]

i love that bike more than i love most people
so no, it's not just a stupid motorcycle
i was thinking straight enough

[levelshift]

Then stop feeling that way. It's wrong.

[reneger]

i can feel however i want

[levelshift]

Then I'm telling you your feelings are bullshit and objectively wrong.

ring ring

[reneger]

( fuck it.

he's raising the phone up to his ear and dialing accelerator. )

[levelshift]

[..... Is he seriously calling him.

Accelerator pauses and stares down at his phone as it buzzes, debating whether or not to answer. But he doesn't want to risk Jason tracking him down for a talk, so he answers it. Reluctantly.]

Tche, no one uses a phone for phone calls anymore.

[reneger]

I'm not texting this 'cause I know you're not taking me seriously. I want you to hear it, an' I'm in shit shape - so do us both a favor and save me from tracking you down, will you? 'cause I swear if you hang up, I'll come find you and make you listen.

[levelshift]

....

[He should be difficult and just bolt out of the city, but he doesn't. As unhappy as he is he doesn't want to make Jason put more stress on himself by hunting him down.]

Fine. Then say whatever it is you want to say.

[reneger]

( his voice softens. loses the edge jason usually speaks with. )

You're a good kid, Ace. You've had a lot of shit things happen to you, and I'm betting you pulled some shit moves to counterbalance it, but none of that is your fault.

( it's the kind of thing jason wanted to be told, when he was younger. he gets it, where accelerator's coming from. and he hates seeing it on him. )

You saved me when I sure as hell didn't deserve it. I've seen how hard you've been trying. When I say you're one of mine - I don't give a damn if you think you deserve it, it's yours.

[levelshift]

[This isn't what he wants to hear.

Of course, every child likes hearing when someone tells them a good kid, regardless of whether they are or not. Accelerator is not exception - he's been praised by fearful scientists for the strength of his ability, but he's rarely ever been told he's a good kid. There's a small part of him that likes it, which is the problem.

He knows he isn't good. He knows he shouldn't like being called good. He knows he's basically lying to Jason by withholding information from him.

He slumps on the couch, burying his face in his hand. The worst part of this is that Jason doesn't even sound angry. It would be a lot easier if he was.]

You're right, I've done a lot of really fucked up stuff. Enough that I know there's no way I can ever make up for it.

[He's utterly miserable, and he's reminded of what Yoshikawa had called him out on, that it's always been easier for him to reject good will from others because accepting it is too frightening.]

I'm not good. I did all of it willingly, too, so you're wrong when you say it isn't my fault. I'm a fucking monster and you can't pretend otherwise.