Etraya Inbox

[levelshift]

un: Accelerator
[Text | Video | Audio | In-person]

Comments

[levelshift]

[Squinting!!]

Then why do you want to talk to me?

text > audio

[hexcope]

To

Okay, hang on.

[He switches to audio. It wasn't going to sound as genuine if he just texted it.]

I didn't handle well what we talked about last time we spoke, and I apologize for that.

[levelshift]

[.....

Ugh, he isn't a fan of voice messages, and he really isn't a fan of people apologizing to him, but this is clearly pretty serious, so he'll switch over as well.]

You're not a fan of dictators who run cities that experiment on kids. I don't see why you need to apologize for that.

[hexcope]

I judged before I had the whole picture. If you tell me, right now, that you love everything happening under your watch as Board Chairman, then we'll know where we stand.

[levelshift]

[Well, if he's asking....]

I don't. The city is a complete shithole. The only reason why I took the position was because that was the only way to meaningfully change anything.

[He scoffs a little.]

Do you seriously think a fifteen year old wants to be spending all their time gutting an entire society because half of it's made up of corrupt shitheads and criminals, restructuring the both the justice and correctional systems to make sure those criminals are actually caught and tried fairly but don't just end up rotting away in some cell for the rest of their lives, on top of managing foreign diplomacy with other nations and groups that would love nothing more than to pillage every fucking piece of research and development that comes out of the city, including the kids?

[The answer is 'no.']

That isn't even getting into all the normal day-to-day shit that comes with running an entire nation, like making sure the national budget is balanced.

[hexcope]

[Only way to meaningfully change anything was from within. A tale as old as time. Jayce believed that too, at one point.

As Accelerator explains, the pieces fall into place, but at the same time, so does Jayce’s rising frustration.]

…Then why didn’t you say this?!

[He sighs, rubbing his face in his hands, relieved that this is the circumstances— it was all a miscommunication— but kicking himself for not seeing through the obvious facade Accelerator was putting on. He just took it all, once again, at face value.]

I can’t read minds, Ace! The way you talked about all of it was— how was I supposed to know?

[levelshift]

[He wasn't, and Accelerator gets he should have been more clear. But having people hate him was his goal back home, and he doesn't see much reason to change course just because he isn't in his own universe.]

I still have no plans to shut the Power Curriculum Program down. You had an issue with that.

[He's blunt about that, even if it's going to frustrate Jayce even more. There are bigger priorities than the Program.]

Besides, there are still plenty of reasons to hate me.

[There's also all the self-loathing but, you know, details.]

[hexcope]

This is why you didn't explain it better, isn't it? You wanted to sound like an ass on purpose.

[It makes sense now.]

For some reason, you're trying to make me dislike you.

[levelshift]

[Do not start figuring him out, Jayce. He won't allow it.]

Well, I'm an asshole and a monster. I'm not a good person, so by all rights disliking me is what any reasonable person should be doing.

1/2

[hexcope]

[He just started figuring out Damian, he's on a roll.]

All this time...

2/2

[hexcope]

It was teen angst.

1/2

[levelshift]

[??!!!????]

2/2

[levelshift]

I'm a convicted felon, you bastard! Teen angst has nothing to do with this!

[hexcope]

They let a convicted felon run a city?

[levelshift]

What part of 'totalitarian dictator' do you not understand? That piece of shit founder had rules and contingencies in place so he could keep running the place even if he was ever put in prison, and I inherited all of that.

[He clicks his tongue.]

But the point is, I'm a fucking terrible person.

[hexcope]

[Maybe it's a good thing it's not video because he's rolling his eyes at this point.]

Oh, please. I'm not buying this anymore.

You took on a role you didn’t want. With the original leader who let problems get worse and fester over the years gone, you decided to try and make the best of it by using your status as unquestioned leader to make sweeping changes for the better, cut out the corruption, end the shady deals, but then it turns out you can’t do all that so easily. There’s pushback you can’t get around, and so you have to make some concessions. All the while, there’s other nations at your door trying to get a hold of what put your city on the map— the advancements, the research— by whatever means necessary.

Did I sum that up right?

[levelshift]

[Fuck you too, Jayce.

There's a few beats of silence, before Accelerator grudgingly replies.]

... Mostly. I'm not making any concessions for people, that's why I was convicted. If I allow for any kind of exception then I'm no different than all the other bastards with the privilege to get away with things worse than murder. I have to lead by example.

[Among other reasons, but he doesn't want to talk about the Sisters right now.]

[hexcope]

Yeah, well...

What I described was actually my last week in Piltover. Beat for beat, concessions included. So maybe you don't get to call yourself a monster, unless you want to call me one too.

[levelshift]

[Wait, hold up.]

... What the hell are you talking about?

[hexcope]

I was pushed into joining the Piltover Council- our highest form of government. Only a few days in, I had the acting Council head, my former professor, removed. He had been there for decades. So... I became the leader of the Council. I had been trying to fix things- suspicious shipments, enforcer corruption- but if I didn't cut deals with the elites, I would have lost control of everything. So I cut deals; turned them around to my own benefit... for Hextech. Meanwhile, Zaun's throwing riots because I shut down access between our cities, and a Noxian army arrives to gently persuade me to make weapons.

Sick of me yet? There's still more.

[levelshift]

[Oh, what the fuck. Accelerator thought this guy was a scientist! He never mentioned anything about being governmental before!

Then there's a sinking feeling in the pit of his stomach, because he gets what it's like to be thrown into the deep end of politics. When you have the best intentions but absolutely everything goes to hell, and it feels like the world is on fire and it's all your fault.

God, he hates it when he empathizes with people. He drags a hand down his face, glad this is only audio.]

... Okay, keep going.

[hexcope]

[Jayce doesn't keep going just yet. All that happens for a few seconds is a long inhale and a shaky exhale.]

This is the part where... I'd understand if you don't want to speak with me again.

Pressure's building up. There had been a theft of my research and gemstone- that thing I had told you about, harnesses magical energy? We know the thief- Jinx. She works for Silco. No one seems to want to take action against who we know is responsible, who dodged investigation for years because of that same enforcer corruption. They want a peaceful negotiation, and I... I'm tired of the back and forth. Of no solutions working. So I'm convinced to lead an illegal strike on Silco's factories, and... I made a weapon. I used it. I lost control of myself.

[Another pause. He feels the acid rise up in his throat. It still doesn't get easier to talk about.]

He looked around your age.

[levelshift]

[Jinx, whom he met on the train, and Silco, whom he met when that weird goat kidnapped them. He'd seen some of the bickering on the network, but he never bothered paying it much mind. Guess that was a dumb assumption to make.

Accelerator is silent as he listens and, well, he's sure there's now tons of gaps in his knowledge. Jinx seemed pretty smart, but he wouldn't have guessed she's... what? A terrorist? If she's working for Silco, then maybe. That guy is a whole other kettle of fish. He was clearly running something, maybe Zaun? Both Jayce and Jinx mentioned it before, and Jayce just now said he's part of Piltover's council --

So the two - nations? Cities? Whatever - were in conflict - he doesn't know what the hell Jayce means by 'factories' - there's a lot he still doesn't know, but his brain is going ahead and sliding what pieces he has into place, making all of that connections like it normally does. It all takes less than a second, though he's silent for a few moments after Jayce finishes. All of that stuff, understanding Zaun and Piltover, it's easy compared to the emotional aspect of this story.

Namely, that Jayce has apparently committed murder.

Not something Accelerator would have ever pegged him for. He's practically the human version of a golden retriever, for crying out loud, and his gut instinct is to be pissed off that some poor kid died because an adult couldn't control himself. That's the easy option, just be pissed off at Jayce, but he knows it wouldn't be the mature one.

He draws in a deep breath. This is going to suck, he can't even remember the face of the person he's thinking of.]

One of my previous legal guardians is a teacher and works for law enforcement in my city, and even though the majority of the criminals she encounters are kids, she won't ever raise a weapon at a child.

[Now that he's saying that out loud, it really sounds like he's going in a certain direction with this. He continues.]

There's a reason for that. She follows that rule because she wants to pay back a debt for something she did. Sounds like you're in the same boat.

[hexcope]

[It does sound like Accelerator's going down a certain path with that comment. Jayce holds his breath, swallows hard. He's only told Caitlyn about this. She knows him— would know it was an accident. He didn't have the courage to tell anyone else, until now. It felt... important to admit, here. Even if it means he's going to lose someone.

Jayce waits for the other shoe to drop, but then it doesn't. It's not... blame. It's understanding.]

Yeah.

[Why he reacted so strongly about kids being hurt, mangled, killed. All the guilt he feels spread through every single cell, he could never do something like that again. How could anyone do it over, and over, and over?]

[levelshift]

[Jayce's reaction to the child experimentation makes a lot more sense now. It goes beyond just being appalled at such a horrific use of science, it's having to relive the memories of what sounds like one of the worst days of his life. He was inadvertently digging up fresh trauma by explaining Academy City, and he didn't even realize it.

There's a twinge of regret in him for doing that, he knows damn well to be confronted with your trauma when you aren't prepared for it.

... Still.]

That said.

[Yeah. Accelerator knows he isn't a nice person. He's offered some understanding and he doesn't hate Jayce for what happened, but he isn't about to roll over and be some sappy, compassionate softie.]

That's really fucked up. You couldn't control yourself enough to avoid killing some kid? Come the fuck on, you're an adult. You should know better than that!

[There's a growl in his voice.]

When you have power, whether that's fucking political power or a weapon or whatever, you have a responsibility to not be a complete shithead with it! You don't get to indulge yourself, because when you do this kind of thing always happens.