Etraya Inbox

[levelshift]

un: Accelerator
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Comments

[levelshift]

I'm not trying to.

[Gross man, he isn't a psychiatrist. He'd be more offended if this was a normal conversation.]

That was the first time you killed someone, right?

[hexcope]

And this is where you say you did it, too? Do you want me to berate you for it too, like you just did to me?

I don't play these kinds of games. Say you can't stand me, and we just part ways. I'm not looking for lesson from the more experienced murderer on how to feel guilt until the day I die.

[levelshift]

[He almost wishes he could go back to yelling at him. That would be so much easier than trying to help.]

... I'm pissed off, but I don't hate you, Talis. You're not some monster, you just fucked up really badly. [There's an awkward pause before he adds:] I don't want you getting your hopes up that it gets better. That's all.

[Because, in his experience, it doesn't.]

LESSONS* ugh

[hexcope]

Then why are you trying to make me feel like one? Do you think you're helping when you say that shit?

Forget it. Sorry I said anything at all.

[levelshift]

......

[Yeah, he thought he was. He isn't sure why he's bothering trying to help, he knows he's total dogshit at this.

When he replies he's a little quieter.]

... Sorry. I'm not sure what you wanted to hear from me.

[hexcope]

I wanted to find common ground, so we could talk again. Now? I don't know. Feels scorched.

If you still care about me at all, please don't tell anyone this. I can't deal with the idea everyone might look at me the same way you will.

[A disappointment.]

[levelshift]

You get used to it.

[He's saying that dully, even though it isn't totally true. Yeah, this has happened often enough that he expects it, but if he were truly numb to it then he wouldn't be feeling bad right now.]

I won't tell anyone. I get it, this is personal and nobody else's business.

[hexcope]

[I don't want to get used to it.]

Thanks.

[And now this time, he doesn't answer further.]