[ A chair isn't the most comfortable place to nap, but Five sleeps pretty deeply for someone who was just in imminent danger. They'll want to keep moving, eventually, but he's not going to sweat the possibility of pursuers right now. It'll be a lot harder for Peil to seize them in broad daylight, anyways. When the nurse shakes him awake, it takes him a moment to remember where he is. Then it all comes crashing back—the breakout and the esper—and he's on his feet the next second.
He follows the nurse down the hall and past several rooms. She knocks on the door before opening it, her voice bright as she announces, 'Asher, your friend's here!'
Five flashes a smile at 'Asher', who is Accelerator, apparently, and shrugs silently behind the nurse's back as if to say yeah, uh, just roll with it. For all the harrowing trouble they've been through, he looks relaxed as he strolls up to the bed, hands in his coat pockets. He wears new clothes, his bloodied uniform discarded for a clean shirt and cargo jacket emblazoned with the logo of the shipping company that had picked them up.
The nurse checks the monitors and fusses over Accelerator a minute longer, then says she'll let him and 'Ian' catch up. Five responds by thanking the nurse and keeps up the good boy manners until the door's shut and they're alone before his pleasant smile turns sharp. ]
I didn't have a lot of time to get creative with aliases! Not that Elan was my real name...but you've already figured that out, haven't you?
[While he has a minute or two to himself he sucks in a deep breath, rubbing his temples. Focusing is hard, and he's going to need to do it until they can get back to Earth. Even though they're away from the facility neither of them are safe here, and it's his responsibility to get them back to Academy City in one piece.
When the door opens again he drops his hands, steeling himself despite his exhaustion. The name gets a bit of a look but he's silent, letting the nurse check him over, and it's only when she leaves that he lets his shoulders drop. He clicks his tongue.]
It's not the worst thing I've been called. [That remark is coming with an unsaid air of 'You couldn't have come up with something better?' It's a pretty minor thing considering everything else though, and it isn't as if he goes by whatever his legal name is anyways. His expression shifts, turning serious. He looks the other boy over, inwardly glad that he at least doesn't seem to be injured at all.]
I read some of your file at the facility. [Not all of it, he didn't have the time for that, but it was enough.] Is there anything you want to be called?
Oh? What did you learn? Besides that Peil and I didn't get on well.
[ He's never seen his own files. He can only imagine what kind of notes they keep on him. If they said he was a pain in the ass or something, he'd take it as a compliment! Five drops into one of the chairs and kicks back in the seat. It's funny, he had been annoyed that no one at Asticassia had a clue what was really going on with him, but having his file read and the truth come out conversely makes him feel somewhat uncomfortable, actually. So this is the mortifying ordeal of being known.
As for what to call him...that's a good fucking question. He knows what he doesn't want to be called, but what he wants to be called is trickier when he can't remember his old name or anything else about himself. Coming up with an identity on the spot is difficult, otherwise he wouldn't have blanked and gone for the lazy choice when the nurse asked him for their names. ]
About that. I don't have a name of my own, and I don't want that asshole's name either. [ He says evenly after a pause, his jaw tight. He's not bitter at all. Not one bit! ] Enhanced Person Number Five is a mouthful, so I guess Five will do for now. I mean, it can't be weirder than Accelerator.
[ Not a day out of surgery and he's already giving him cheek... ]
[Sheesh, even when the subject is serious this guy is still being smarmy. Accelerator supposes Peil deserves a lot worse than this, though if he were in this position he'd be cursing them out. Hell, he has been, and even now he still doesn't hesitate to call the scientists that developed him shitheads and bastards.
Well... chances are he's thinking it, anyways.
Accelerator's expression remains serious as he mentally files through the information he had gathered from the binders back in the facility, giving a small nod at not-Elan — Five's conclusion about his name. Or alias, if you want to get specific.]
It isn't. It's not like Accelerator is my name either, so Five works. [It actually reminds him a little of the clones, too, since they go by numbers rather than names. Most people might balk at it, but this is significantly better than continuing to use 'Elan.'
With that settled, he shifts back to what he had read in Five's file. Being so desensitized to it all he can answer without hesitating, though he's well aware of how horrific it all is.]
I only had time to skim. Most of what I read was about the surgeries and experimentation you underwent in order to be able to pilot mobile suits that use GUND technology. You know, the kind of shit that any non-corrupt court would deem war crimes.
[ Trust him, he wouldn't be calling himself 'Five' if he had anything better. He has no attachment to a name that reduces him to a number on a spreadsheet, but sometimes, it's not the name that matters so much as the attitude you wear it with. Like how Accelerator admits his own name is weird without flinching. That gets a faint, amused smirk from Five. He thinks the guy's too serious for his own good, but he's got the attitude going for him. Anyways, moving on... ]
That's about the gist of it, though I see they failed to mention the part where their experiments didn't succeed! Us enhanced pilots might be able tolerate a higher permet score, but the strain will still kill us in the end.
[ Maybe he's desensitized as well because he says it all very casually. It's not that he isn't angry about what was done to him, but he doesn't see the point in getting worked up about it. Besides, it had been his decision, presumably. There had been something in it for his past self, some reason to shed his identity. He had struck a deal, changed his face, and if he had nothing else—no name, no memories, connections, past or future—he would like at least the dignity to own his own damned choices. ]
So that's it, huh? Nothing else exciting in there? I had been hoping to hear something I didn't know. [ A detail about his old life, maybe? He looks smug as usual but, just briefly, there's an odd note of disappointment in his voice. ] I expect they're going to be busy covering their tracks now that they know someone's snooped on them.
[Cool, great. Not only was he experimented on, but Five gets to live with the fact that he was considered a failure through no fault of his own. Accelerator doesn't know what that's like, being the strongest esper and all, but growing up he witnessed plenty of other Child Errors fail. A not-insignificant number of those children wound up dissected, or just corpses. Accelerator didn't have time to look up what happened to Enhanced Person Numbers One through Four, but... he doesn't feel a need to ask.
He doesn't bother hiding the way his lip curls in disgust. Fuck, he should've just destroyed the whole facility.
Either way, Five is right. Peil will have begun scrambling to deal with the break-in by now, so they'll need to prepare for that.]
Yeah, most likely. I left a worm in that computer, so hopefully it'll transmit some useful data before they wipe everything. Who knows, maybe it'll even pull something that will surprise you.
[AKA something he doesn't know, since he brought that up. It doesn't quite sound as if that was a joke, so he wants to raise that as a possibility. He sighs heavily, and looks around at the hospital room.]
We also need to consider the chances that covering their tracks means coming after us. As soon as I can move without bleeding out onto the damn floor we need to get out of here.
Aren't you just full of surprises. You still plan on going after them after nearly getting killed?
[ If the look of disgust on Accelerator's face is any indication, he already has his answer. While Five has no appetite for another confrontation, not gonna lie, he's curious what else might be buried in those files. Wouldn't anyone in his position naturally want to know more about themselves? But his past can wait. Securing their future comes first. He pivots sideways in his chair and folds his arms behind his head, facing the hospital room instead of the teen. ]
The good news is, they'll have a hard time tracking us down! While you were out of it, we ditched the shuttle and hitched a ride here. There won't be any records of an unauthorized ship making a stop on this planet.
[ He figures they've got a pretty good head start. Space is an enormous place to search. But! ]
The bad news is, we're stuck without a ride and the nurses are going to start asking questions.
[Hell yes he's planning on going after them. There is no way he can just give up after all of this. No matter how difficult it may be it's the right thing to do, and when it comes to taking down a bunch of corrupt shitheads who ruin the lives of kids he can be very stubborn. Accelerator sets his jaw and gives a firm nod, before he blinks at Five's explanation.
So that's how they got all the way here? Ditching the shuttle has bought them a little time, that's good.]
Hmm. That was smart.
[And then he falters. A compliment is one thing, but the sentiment floating around in his mind is a lot more difficult for him to express openly. His hands, currently settled in his lap, curl into fists so he can dig his nails into his palms, and he practically spits his words out.]
... Thanks for getting me out of there. I'm sure you could've just left on your own, and you didn't. [It would have been a lot easier for Five. In the chaos of everything he probably could have disappeared into space, reached some other planet, and started a new, anonymous life.
But he didn't, and that's worth the gratitude Accelerator is awkwardly stumbling through.]
Hold on. Do I need to call the nurse back to get your head checked? Because you've got it backwards.
[ Getting thanked is taking him through a whole new guilt trip. While the execution may have been heavy-handed and quite the mess, he's pretty sure Accelerator was the one who did him a favor. He should be the one expressing his gratitude, except that kind of conversation doesn't come easily to him either, so he's here making jabs instead. ]
Save that gratitude for someone who deserves it. I did in fact think about ditching you back there.
[ He won't bother hiding it. It was shitty of him, and it would stick with him uncomfortably if he doesn't come clean about it now. He could probably stand to sound less shameless and unapologetic while admitting it though.
If circumstances had been slightly different, he would have taken off and saved himself. He's that kind of self-serving bastard, and he doesn't lack for self-awareness. Knowing how short the lives of Gundam pilots are, Five resolved from the beginning to survive no matter what he has to stoop to. It's practically the one principle he lives by! So why didn't he ditch him in that harrowing moment?
Maybe it's because he had been shocked that someone actually gave a shit about him? Maybe he's even a little touched by the gesture. What comes out of his mouth is: ]
If you're wondering why I didn't, it's because I still have questions for you.
[Don't mind his little snort and eyeroll. He knows what he said, damnit! The fact that he's gone as far as to say it aloud shows just how serious about it, even with Five's admittance that he had debated leaving. That isn't surprising to hear at all, and maybe it's just his own self-deprecation creeping him, but he doesn't blame him for considering it.
And in the end it didn't happen. Having those thoughts is one thing, acting on them is another. That needs to be taken into account, too. It's a little surprising to hear the reason why he didn't ditch him though, and Accelerator raises an eyebrow. Questions, huh?]
What are they?
[It's not as if there's much for them to do right now, so he can answer a few questions.]
[ Five's only response is to grin. He knows what was said, and he's making light of it. That's just how he is, deflecting when things start feeling uncomfortable or get a little too sincere.
Now, for a welcome change in subject... ]
Let's start with you being an esper. What's up with that?
[That's a reasonable question. It's not as if espers are common outside of Academy City....]
My city does research into espers. Since not many naturally exist, the best way to do that is to develop a bunch of them to be test subjects. That's why I'm an esper, just about every student in my city is one.
And like, they got away with that? Did you all actually agree to be test subjects or is this one of those 'hidden in the fine print' kind of situations?
[ Maybe the pros of becoming espers as strong as Accelerator outweighed the risks or something, but damn...we're talking a whole city of kids being experimented on! He thought Peil ran a good scam, but what he's hearing sounds on a whole different level. ]
No, it's public knowledge. Parents sign their kids up. In exchange for going through the program, the kid gets registered at one of Academy City's schools. They're supposed to be guaranteed an education that'll have them set for the rest of their life.
[And they usually follow through on that offer, so it's one step up from Peil's practices.]
Okay, [ he says slowly, turning the information over. ] So what's the catch? The experiment was a success and you're set for life, congrats. Seems like a shame to waste it dying halfway across the galaxy!
[ There's more to the story. He doesn't buy that anyone would go to the lengths Accelerator did for no good reason. Something about the lab ticked him off, hit a nerve, and Five will needle him until he finds out what. ]
It does, doesn't it? But that's Academy City's propaganda at its finest.
[The marketing department has done an excellent job making the Power Curriculum Program seem like a great option for families.]
The way the system is set up makes it easy for parents to abandon their kids once the kid is in the city. It's easy for Child Errors and kids who don't have family they can rely on to fall through the cracks, and end up being part of unethical experiments serving some researcher's fucking ego. [He waves a hand for emphasis as he continues.] Some shithead or an entire research facility decides that doing experiments on esper organs is a great idea, or they think they can replicate a unique ability in other espers by messing with brain chemistry, or that by repeating the Curriculum's medical procedures they can find a way to give espers multiple powers instead of just one.
No one is around to notice if some Child Error goes missing when an experiment goes wrong, so they're prime candidates for that kind of shit. They get chewed up and spit out. Usually the ones who wind up dead are lucky, since they don't have to live with whatever the hell they went through.
[ Now this is the good stuff and what he's been waiting for...if any of it can be called good! Hearing about the enterprise's dark side makes Five's skin crawl, but none of it comes as a real shock to him. In fact, the story is all too familiar. Peil had been doing the same thing, picking kids that had no better options and no one looking for them if they disappeared. It's the kind of shit the rich and powerful can get away with, although in this case, he thinks these scientists may have accidentally created something more powerful than themselves. ]
Let me guess, you were one of them?
[ Five shifts in his chair, glancing sideways at Accelerator. The esper had told him, when he first appeared back in the treatment room, that he understood what he was going through. Did he really? ]
[After everything he's gone through Accelerator is more than happy to get a chance to bash the unethical adults that exploit the kids living in his city. What's more difficult for him is talking about himself — yes, he's been through some awful shit, he can admit that, but he's doled out that awfulness in equal parts to other kids. He isn't some innocent victim, he's just as much a monster as the researchers who experimented on him.
He stares down at his hands as bad memories float through his mind.]
The second one. I grew up in a research facility that thought they could develop espers with more than one ability. Early on they realized it wasn't possible, but they kept going anyways.
[A lot of kids got hurt, and a lot of them died. He supposes that being alive and being able to talk about that facility can be done in service to their memories, even if he didn't know most of them or get along with those he did. Absently, he shifts a bit, his voice low.]
There were always rumours that the place had somewhere on site to dump corpses, but the reality was that it was just a garbage dump for living humans.
[ Five notices the shift in Accelerator's demeanor but doesn't comment on it. There's nothing to be said. If their experiences were anything alike, whatever he's remembering can't be good. It can't be easy to talk about either, but Five's not about to let up just because of that. ]
Sounds like they pulled off a scheme even bigger and shadier than Peil's! I've got to hand it to them.
[ He doesn't really mean what he's saying, but if Accelerator is expecting a more candid reaction, he won't find it. When every day is a new horror, you learn to put up emotional walls quick. ]
[Honestly, Accelerator is just grateful there isn't some misguided outpouring of sympathy. That would be incredibly undeserved and only the guilt that still looms over him even worse. Five being casual about it all makes this easier to keep talking; his understanding means they can skip over the abject horror a regular person would be feeling.
He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment.]
I think a part of me always knew.
[Kids disappearing when he was younger, being separated from his classmates when his ability fully manifested, trying to talk to the Sisters when there was absolutely no point in him doing so.... Of course he knew. How could he not?]
But at some point you must have decided it was enough. I know people who would rather lie down and accept their fate, and they're not around anymore! Unsurprisingly.
[ He can see how it might be difficult for a kid who's not known anything else to start questioning what's happening around him. Honestly, good on him for breaking away. If he hadn't, he'd probably have ended up the same as Four. Disappeared without a trace. Five could never figure that guy out, not what made him so resigned nor why he had no will in him to fight. It was pathetic to watch. They may have shared a face but they were nothing alike. ]
[Five's conclusion isn't wrong. At one point he decided it was enough, one very particular point that he isn't going to forget for the rest of his life.]
Yeah. This third string knocked some sense into me. [Literally. He's never going to have any regrets over Kamijou Touma punching him out that night in the train yard.] And then....
[And then a little girl needed his help, and he didn't help her until it was nearly too late. But she's okay now, and that's what matters.
Of course, he falters when it comes to explaining Last Order. The words get stuck in his throat, and he isn't sure if he wants to keep going. He isn't sure if he should, so he switches gears, glancing over.]
[ He arches a brow when Accelerator trails off and turns the question around, but he ultimately shrugs and answers. ]
What? You mean when I caught on? They weren't exactly subtle when they were threatening me with execution.
[ His situation was a little different. First, he wasn't a kid brought up in their system who didn't know any better. Second, they told him he was dead if he failed and they didn't stutter! That kind of thing should set off alarm bells in anyone...unless you were Enhanced Person No. 4, apparently. But not to speak (too) ill of the dead. Four might have had the personality of a wet mop, but he deserved better. The witches in charge are the real villains here. ]
You wake up with no memories, somebody else's face, and get told you agreed to have your body messed with? It was fishy as hell from the beginning. I only went along with their plans because I thought it could benefit me.
[ There was no sudden or slow dawning moment of realization for him. He had been too perceptive to fall for it and too unscrupulous to refuse cooperation, but the simple heart of the matter is he'd been afraid of winding up dead. ]
[The frown already creasing Accelerator's face only increases as he listens, though he supposes he shouldn't be surprised. Peil made sure that their bases were covered so that any test subjects would have a near-impossible time backing out. How could any of them do that without their memories? They'd have no option but to believe the damn company. It's infuriating knowing all of this was going on.
He exhales roughly, giving a slight wince when that jostles his side.]
They really went to extremes to make sure you had no other options.
[It's going to take a lot of self-control to avoid going to Peil headquarters and trashing the place when he's healed up. For now he tries to put any violent thoughts at the back of his mind, focusing on another question.]
Did you ever try to come up with a plan to get out?
[Not that one would have been successful, but he's still curious.]
Who knows. Maybe Peil was the better option at one point. [ He holds up a finger and waggles it. Hear him out. ] I can't know what my past self was thinking, but from what I can piece together, it was worth changing my face for.
[ There's no guarantee his life had been any better before the experiments. The lab did away with most of his memories, but not all of them, and what vague glimpses remained pointed to one thing: he needed that new identity. Would it be odd to say he trusts himself to have made the best call he could at the time? Sure, maybe Peil had left out crucial details and misled him on what the job entailed, but he doesn't like thinking of himself as a victim in their schemes. That makes him seem helpless when he believes he's always been resourceful. ]
If you didn't step in, I would've given them the slip one way or another, but I wasn't planning on such a dramatic exit.
[ He shoots Accelerator a look. Indeed, in some other universe where he continued to botch his job, he would've quietly leveraged what he knew and gone into hiding, but this isn't that universe. ]
If I had fancy powers, maybe it would've been a different story. Is that how you got away?
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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He follows the nurse down the hall and past several rooms. She knocks on the door before opening it, her voice bright as she announces, 'Asher, your friend's here!'
Five flashes a smile at 'Asher', who is Accelerator, apparently, and shrugs silently behind the nurse's back as if to say yeah, uh, just roll with it. For all the harrowing trouble they've been through, he looks relaxed as he strolls up to the bed, hands in his coat pockets. He wears new clothes, his bloodied uniform discarded for a clean shirt and cargo jacket emblazoned with the logo of the shipping company that had picked them up.
The nurse checks the monitors and fusses over Accelerator a minute longer, then says she'll let him and 'Ian' catch up. Five responds by thanking the nurse and keeps up the good boy manners until the door's shut and they're alone before his pleasant smile turns sharp. ]
I didn't have a lot of time to get creative with aliases! Not that Elan was my real name...but you've already figured that out, haven't you?
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When the door opens again he drops his hands, steeling himself despite his exhaustion. The name gets a bit of a look but he's silent, letting the nurse check him over, and it's only when she leaves that he lets his shoulders drop. He clicks his tongue.]
It's not the worst thing I've been called. [That remark is coming with an unsaid air of 'You couldn't have come up with something better?' It's a pretty minor thing considering everything else though, and it isn't as if he goes by whatever his legal name is anyways. His expression shifts, turning serious. He looks the other boy over, inwardly glad that he at least doesn't seem to be injured at all.]
I read some of your file at the facility. [Not all of it, he didn't have the time for that, but it was enough.] Is there anything you want to be called?
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[ He's never seen his own files. He can only imagine what kind of notes they keep on him. If they said he was a pain in the ass or something, he'd take it as a compliment! Five drops into one of the chairs and kicks back in the seat. It's funny, he had been annoyed that no one at Asticassia had a clue what was really going on with him, but having his file read and the truth come out conversely makes him feel somewhat uncomfortable, actually. So this is the mortifying ordeal of being known.
As for what to call him...that's a good fucking question. He knows what he doesn't want to be called, but what he wants to be called is trickier when he can't remember his old name or anything else about himself. Coming up with an identity on the spot is difficult, otherwise he wouldn't have blanked and gone for the lazy choice when the nurse asked him for their names. ]
About that. I don't have a name of my own, and I don't want that asshole's name either. [ He says evenly after a pause, his jaw tight. He's not bitter at all. Not one bit! ] Enhanced Person Number Five is a mouthful, so I guess Five will do for now. I mean, it can't be weirder than Accelerator.
[ Not a day out of surgery and he's already giving him cheek... ]
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Well... chances are he's thinking it, anyways.
Accelerator's expression remains serious as he mentally files through the information he had gathered from the binders back in the facility, giving a small nod at not-Elan — Five's conclusion about his name. Or alias, if you want to get specific.]
It isn't. It's not like Accelerator is my name either, so Five works. [It actually reminds him a little of the clones, too, since they go by numbers rather than names. Most people might balk at it, but this is significantly better than continuing to use 'Elan.'
With that settled, he shifts back to what he had read in Five's file. Being so desensitized to it all he can answer without hesitating, though he's well aware of how horrific it all is.]
I only had time to skim. Most of what I read was about the surgeries and experimentation you underwent in order to be able to pilot mobile suits that use GUND technology. You know, the kind of shit that any non-corrupt court would deem war crimes.
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That's about the gist of it, though I see they failed to mention the part where their experiments didn't succeed! Us enhanced pilots might be able tolerate a higher permet score, but the strain will still kill us in the end.
[ Maybe he's desensitized as well because he says it all very casually. It's not that he isn't angry about what was done to him, but he doesn't see the point in getting worked up about it. Besides, it had been his decision, presumably. There had been something in it for his past self, some reason to shed his identity. He had struck a deal, changed his face, and if he had nothing else—no name, no memories, connections, past or future—he would like at least the dignity to own his own damned choices. ]
So that's it, huh? Nothing else exciting in there? I had been hoping to hear something I didn't know. [ A detail about his old life, maybe? He looks smug as usual but, just briefly, there's an odd note of disappointment in his voice. ] I expect they're going to be busy covering their tracks now that they know someone's snooped on them.
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He doesn't bother hiding the way his lip curls in disgust. Fuck, he should've just destroyed the whole facility.
Either way, Five is right. Peil will have begun scrambling to deal with the break-in by now, so they'll need to prepare for that.]
Yeah, most likely. I left a worm in that computer, so hopefully it'll transmit some useful data before they wipe everything. Who knows, maybe it'll even pull something that will surprise you.
[AKA something he doesn't know, since he brought that up. It doesn't quite sound as if that was a joke, so he wants to raise that as a possibility. He sighs heavily, and looks around at the hospital room.]
We also need to consider the chances that covering their tracks means coming after us. As soon as I can move without bleeding out onto the damn floor we need to get out of here.
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[ If the look of disgust on Accelerator's face is any indication, he already has his answer. While Five has no appetite for another confrontation, not gonna lie, he's curious what else might be buried in those files. Wouldn't anyone in his position naturally want to know more about themselves? But his past can wait. Securing their future comes first. He pivots sideways in his chair and folds his arms behind his head, facing the hospital room instead of the teen. ]
The good news is, they'll have a hard time tracking us down! While you were out of it, we ditched the shuttle and hitched a ride here. There won't be any records of an unauthorized ship making a stop on this planet.
[ He figures they've got a pretty good head start. Space is an enormous place to search. But! ]
The bad news is, we're stuck without a ride and the nurses are going to start asking questions.
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So that's how they got all the way here? Ditching the shuttle has bought them a little time, that's good.]
Hmm. That was smart.
[And then he falters. A compliment is one thing, but the sentiment floating around in his mind is a lot more difficult for him to express openly. His hands, currently settled in his lap, curl into fists so he can dig his nails into his palms, and he practically spits his words out.]
... Thanks for getting me out of there. I'm sure you could've just left on your own, and you didn't. [It would have been a lot easier for Five. In the chaos of everything he probably could have disappeared into space, reached some other planet, and started a new, anonymous life.
But he didn't, and that's worth the gratitude Accelerator is awkwardly stumbling through.]
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[ Getting thanked is taking him through a whole new guilt trip. While the execution may have been heavy-handed and quite the mess, he's pretty sure Accelerator was the one who did him a favor. He should be the one expressing his gratitude, except that kind of conversation doesn't come easily to him either, so he's here making jabs instead. ]
Save that gratitude for someone who deserves it. I did in fact think about ditching you back there.
[ He won't bother hiding it. It was shitty of him, and it would stick with him uncomfortably if he doesn't come clean about it now. He could probably stand to sound less shameless and unapologetic while admitting it though.
If circumstances had been slightly different, he would have taken off and saved himself. He's that kind of self-serving bastard, and he doesn't lack for self-awareness. Knowing how short the lives of Gundam pilots are, Five resolved from the beginning to survive no matter what he has to stoop to. It's practically the one principle he lives by! So why didn't he ditch him in that harrowing moment?
Maybe it's because he had been shocked that someone actually gave a shit about him? Maybe he's even a little touched by the gesture. What comes out of his mouth is: ]
If you're wondering why I didn't, it's because I still have questions for you.
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And in the end it didn't happen. Having those thoughts is one thing, acting on them is another. That needs to be taken into account, too. It's a little surprising to hear the reason why he didn't ditch him though, and Accelerator raises an eyebrow. Questions, huh?]
What are they?
[It's not as if there's much for them to do right now, so he can answer a few questions.]
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Now, for a welcome change in subject... ]
Let's start with you being an esper. What's up with that?
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My city does research into espers. Since not many naturally exist, the best way to do that is to develop a bunch of them to be test subjects. That's why I'm an esper, just about every student in my city is one.
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[ Maybe the pros of becoming espers as strong as Accelerator outweighed the risks or something, but damn...we're talking a whole city of kids being experimented on! He thought Peil ran a good scam, but what he's hearing sounds on a whole different level. ]
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No, it's public knowledge. Parents sign their kids up. In exchange for going through the program, the kid gets registered at one of Academy City's schools. They're supposed to be guaranteed an education that'll have them set for the rest of their life.
[And they usually follow through on that offer, so it's one step up from Peil's practices.]
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[ There's more to the story. He doesn't buy that anyone would go to the lengths Accelerator did for no good reason. Something about the lab ticked him off, hit a nerve, and Five will needle him until he finds out what. ]
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It does, doesn't it? But that's Academy City's propaganda at its finest.
[The marketing department has done an excellent job making the Power Curriculum Program seem like a great option for families.]
The way the system is set up makes it easy for parents to abandon their kids once the kid is in the city. It's easy for Child Errors and kids who don't have family they can rely on to fall through the cracks, and end up being part of unethical experiments serving some researcher's fucking ego. [He waves a hand for emphasis as he continues.] Some shithead or an entire research facility decides that doing experiments on esper organs is a great idea, or they think they can replicate a unique ability in other espers by messing with brain chemistry, or that by repeating the Curriculum's medical procedures they can find a way to give espers multiple powers instead of just one.
No one is around to notice if some Child Error goes missing when an experiment goes wrong, so they're prime candidates for that kind of shit. They get chewed up and spit out. Usually the ones who wind up dead are lucky, since they don't have to live with whatever the hell they went through.
[Wow, he can be chatty sometimes. Who knew!]
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Let me guess, you were one of them?
[ Five shifts in his chair, glancing sideways at Accelerator. The esper had told him, when he first appeared back in the treatment room, that he understood what he was going through. Did he really? ]
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He stares down at his hands as bad memories float through his mind.]
The second one. I grew up in a research facility that thought they could develop espers with more than one ability. Early on they realized it wasn't possible, but they kept going anyways.
[A lot of kids got hurt, and a lot of them died. He supposes that being alive and being able to talk about that facility can be done in service to their memories, even if he didn't know most of them or get along with those he did. Absently, he shifts a bit, his voice low.]
There were always rumours that the place had somewhere on site to dump corpses, but the reality was that it was just a garbage dump for living humans.
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Sounds like they pulled off a scheme even bigger and shadier than Peil's! I've got to hand it to them.
[ He doesn't really mean what he's saying, but if Accelerator is expecting a more candid reaction, he won't find it. When every day is a new horror, you learn to put up emotional walls quick. ]
So, when did you realize you were being played?
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He sighs, closing his eyes for a moment.]
I think a part of me always knew.
[Kids disappearing when he was younger, being separated from his classmates when his ability fully manifested, trying to talk to the Sisters when there was absolutely no point in him doing so.... Of course he knew. How could he not?]
It was just easier not to think about it.
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[ He can see how it might be difficult for a kid who's not known anything else to start questioning what's happening around him. Honestly, good on him for breaking away. If he hadn't, he'd probably have ended up the same as Four. Disappeared without a trace. Five could never figure that guy out, not what made him so resigned nor why he had no will in him to fight. It was pathetic to watch. They may have shared a face but they were nothing alike. ]
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Yeah. This third string knocked some sense into me. [Literally. He's never going to have any regrets over Kamijou Touma punching him out that night in the train yard.] And then....
[And then a little girl needed his help, and he didn't help her until it was nearly too late. But she's okay now, and that's what matters.
Of course, he falters when it comes to explaining Last Order. The words get stuck in his throat, and he isn't sure if he wants to keep going. He isn't sure if he should, so he switches gears, glancing over.]
What about you?
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What? You mean when I caught on? They weren't exactly subtle when they were threatening me with execution.
[ His situation was a little different. First, he wasn't a kid brought up in their system who didn't know any better. Second, they told him he was dead if he failed and they didn't stutter! That kind of thing should set off alarm bells in anyone...unless you were Enhanced Person No. 4, apparently. But not to speak (too) ill of the dead. Four might have had the personality of a wet mop, but he deserved better. The witches in charge are the real villains here. ]
You wake up with no memories, somebody else's face, and get told you agreed to have your body messed with? It was fishy as hell from the beginning. I only went along with their plans because I thought it could benefit me.
[ There was no sudden or slow dawning moment of realization for him. He had been too perceptive to fall for it and too unscrupulous to refuse cooperation, but the simple heart of the matter is he'd been afraid of winding up dead. ]
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He exhales roughly, giving a slight wince when that jostles his side.]
They really went to extremes to make sure you had no other options.
[It's going to take a lot of self-control to avoid going to Peil headquarters and trashing the place when he's healed up. For now he tries to put any violent thoughts at the back of his mind, focusing on another question.]
Did you ever try to come up with a plan to get out?
[Not that one would have been successful, but he's still curious.]
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[ There's no guarantee his life had been any better before the experiments. The lab did away with most of his memories, but not all of them, and what vague glimpses remained pointed to one thing: he needed that new identity. Would it be odd to say he trusts himself to have made the best call he could at the time? Sure, maybe Peil had left out crucial details and misled him on what the job entailed, but he doesn't like thinking of himself as a victim in their schemes. That makes him seem helpless when he believes he's always been resourceful. ]
If you didn't step in, I would've given them the slip one way or another, but I wasn't planning on such a dramatic exit.
[ He shoots Accelerator a look. Indeed, in some other universe where he continued to botch his job, he would've quietly leveraged what he knew and gone into hiding, but this isn't that universe. ]
If I had fancy powers, maybe it would've been a different story. Is that how you got away?
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