levelshift: (sus)
Accelerator ([personal profile] levelshift) wrote2024-04-26 02:03 pm

Etraya Inbox



un: Accelerator
[Text | Video | Audio | In-person]

bootyshortsforoldmen: (you’re gonna cry and baby)

in-person

[personal profile] bootyshortsforoldmen 2024-12-25 03:23 pm (UTC)(link)

Hank hates the RoboCops, but one thing they’re good for?

Helping deliver Christmas presents, because Hank has no idea where most people live, or are currently dwelling, or whatever.

A note atop a package reads:

Hey, kid.

Don’t rip up this note yet. I’m old. Let me talk.

Connor said something to me once that stuck with me. It was about not being able to change the past, but learning to live again for yourself. And for those you’ve lost, too. You think about that, okay?

Now you can get mad and rip this up if you want.

〰️ Hank 🎄

He drew a little Christmas tree just to be an asshole.

Inside the package is an assortment of different coffees: some instant, some not. Citrus! Bold flavors! Hopefully something out of the bunch will be enjoyable.

bootyshortsforoldmen: (like you don’t love | chord)

cn: mention of Hank’s son’s death

[personal profile] bootyshortsforoldmen 2024-12-25 11:29 pm (UTC)(link)

I was thinking of you and in a POSITIVE way so you’re just gonna have to deal with that, kid

I know certain days of the year can just fucking suck so I hope you got through okay

[Christmas especially will never be easy for Hank, but then there’s his son’s birthday. And Easter, and Halloween. Fathers’ Day, in its own way.

Basically, a lot of days just kind of suck. Hank gets it.]

Don’t be too hard on yourself

bootyshortsforoldmen: (think you’re too hot-headed | chord)

cn: alcoholism mentions

[personal profile] bootyshortsforoldmen 2024-12-26 03:39 am (UTC)(link)

Fuck you too, kid

[Hank types this entirely without animosity. It’s kind of just becoming something oddly endearing for him to say to Accelerator.]

You sure do like assuming shit about what I say, huh

Said don’t be too hard on yourself. Didn’t say anything about easy. Life isn’t easy

[He almost leaves the conversation at that. Taking off his stupid earpiece and setting it down. But he’s got another think coming, so he adds:]

Don’t know what you’ve heard about me, but I spend half my time here drinking.

About made a damn fool of myself at Heather’s party

[Hank is a hypocrite. He knows this. But he keeps going.]

Hating yourself is easy. The easiest thing in the world, maybe.

But finding a reason to live? Finding a reason to WANT to live? That’s the hardest fucking thing

[He knows from experience how hard it is, and he knows it won’t be today, nor any day soon... but Hank hopes he’ll be around whenever Accelerator finds that thing.

And he hopes Accelerator won’t be as hard as Hank is on himself in the meantime.]

Edited 2024-12-26 03:40 (UTC)
bootyshortsforoldmen: (the last time I saw you)

[personal profile] bootyshortsforoldmen 2024-12-27 06:22 pm (UTC)(link)

[Hank’s initial contrary thought is “yeah, well, Connor’s wrong.” But it kind of aches, thinking that now. He doesn’t want Connor to be wrong, but Hank’s been spiraling as of late.

Accelerator’s good. Shifting the conversation back to Connor.]

That’s why I’m talking to you and not Connor.

Connor is [god, where to fucking start?] different. Not just because he’s an android. He’s a hell of a lot stronger than me and I don’t just mean when he’s out there whacking guys

It’s not like me drinking is some big secret I’m keeping from him either. He knows I hate myself too

But that’s not something you can just shut off overnight. You find your reason to keep going and you work on shit. You keep at it

[Again: “do what I say, not as I do.”]

bootyshortsforoldmen: (I’m having trouble operating)

cn: reference to Hank’s son’s death

[personal profile] bootyshortsforoldmen 2024-12-28 03:00 am (UTC)(link)

I get it. Trust me, I do.

But it’s something to keep in mind, all right? Even if it’s too hard to actually do right now

The whole finding your reason thing

Just try to keep it in mind when you can.

[Hank almost leaves it at that. He isn’t sure whether Accelerator would push him for an answer to his question, anyway.

But it means something — his willingness to answer.]

Connor

Connor’s my reason.

[Hank imagines typing out: And my son, too.

But that’s a whole other can of trauma he’d rather not pry open today.]

bootyshortsforoldmen: (they held the phone)

cn: talk of alcoholism

[personal profile] bootyshortsforoldmen 2024-12-29 08:29 pm (UTC)(link)

It’s a process

[Which is an absolute non-answer, yeah, and also Hank’s way of saying “kind of.”

Sort of.

Yes and no.]

It’s like Connor helped me turn on a light but the switch got stuck halfway

And it’s all flickery and shit

Like I said. A process.

This place has been

Not good for me

[Obviously. But:]

I thought I wouldn’t give a shit about anyone I met here but that hasn’t been the case

Which is fucking strange. Makes the whole “battling for our worlds” or whatever kind of weird

But there are people here who I think about when I do stupid shit. Sometimes it keeps me from doing the stupid shit. Sometimes it doesn’t.

But they still make me want to be better

bootyshortsforoldmen: (all it took was leaving)

cn: talk of alcoholism

[personal profile] bootyshortsforoldmen 2025-01-01 04:38 am (UTC)(link)

That’s kind of why I was getting fucked up at Heather’s party.

Was drinking anyway but Gorgug got to talking about missions and he was saying if I don’t wanna do them so badly, maybe they’ll just send me back

[Gorgug was saying Aurora or whoever might’ve given him a robot baby for a past mission, which was another horrifying thought.]

I guess it’s one thing to be sent here without our consent y’know, then a whole other to be kicked out for whatever reason

Never really thought about it honestly

Figured I’d just be a fuck up here and they’d blow up my world, then I’d be stuck here or they’d figure out a way to really kill me

Don’t know if I’d wanna go back now. Who knows if the world’s all fucked up??