I run it over and over in my mind. ...They wanted me to find the Truth, and when I did... they still.
( to hear that their choice was possibly a stupid one, or maybe it was... something, but this is a cruel truth. it's enough to make her shoulders fall slack and 37 feels even more miserable. sure, the truth hurts, but 210's ego was too inflated to just die, 888's beliefs were hardened, she wouldn't let anyone alter her thoughts as she was committed to what was right.
if what she had chosen was stupid, or even right, then why couldn't 37 have...
...
37 should be happy for them, she should have the same thrill that she had for her mother, and yet...
even both those feelings have dulled, they bring upon an ache in her chest.
she exhales, and she sniffles, there's a hitch of her breath as tries really hard not to just break down. it's the dam keeping the water behind, but there are cracks, there's wall that chips away with every word even if they're meant to be reassuring or the truth.
part of her wishes she had finished that day before leaving the island, but to recall, to even explain to someone who shouldn't care. it's embarrassing, they have just met, but everything has happened so fast. if she did not find 6 here, she would be alone, she would navigate this world alone with vertin or sophia, and she latches to anything that can keep her from running out into her doom. )
Why is it even if the fucking answer is found, it's not enough to make things go right.
( maybe she was unlucky, perhaps her answer was for another problem, but not their problem. if only she knew what, but the issue was they were happy in that moment, it appeared like that was the best choice they could have made, and the expression showed no regret. )
Be wise, uninvolved, and look on or be practical, involved, and suffer... what does that stream of data think, what do you... think?
cw: suicide talk
( to hear that their choice was possibly a stupid one, or maybe it was... something, but this is a cruel truth. it's enough to make her shoulders fall slack and 37 feels even more miserable. sure, the truth hurts, but 210's ego was too inflated to just die, 888's beliefs were hardened, she wouldn't let anyone alter her thoughts as she was committed to what was right.
if what she had chosen was stupid, or even right, then why couldn't 37 have...
...
37 should be happy for them, she should have the same thrill that she had for her mother, and yet...
even both those feelings have dulled, they bring upon an ache in her chest.
she exhales, and she sniffles, there's a hitch of her breath as tries really hard not to just break down. it's the dam keeping the water behind, but there are cracks, there's wall that chips away with every word even if they're meant to be reassuring or the truth.
part of her wishes she had finished that day before leaving the island, but to recall, to even explain to someone who shouldn't care. it's embarrassing, they have just met, but everything has happened so fast. if she did not find 6 here, she would be alone, she would navigate this world alone with vertin or sophia, and she latches to anything that can keep her from running out into her doom. )
Why is it even if the fucking answer is found, it's not enough to make things go right.
( maybe she was unlucky, perhaps her answer was for another problem, but not their problem. if only she knew what, but the issue was they were happy in that moment, it appeared like that was the best choice they could have made, and the expression showed no regret. )
Be wise, uninvolved, and look on or be practical, involved, and suffer... what does that stream of data think, what do you... think?